April 2016

My last appointment with the good doctor this month led me to a series of understandings.

He spoke about himself coming in and out of remission, which makes me think of my own reality and what the future has in store.

He asked me about my relationships in my life.

My partner of two years and I are constantly on the rocks. We are both always so stressed and worried about my recovery.

Lyme is not a cheap thing to treat. Money is a huge stressor for us as well.

We have already put at least $5,000 dollars into this in the last year, and I am still not better.

Lyme has completely destroyed multiple dreams for both of us, and the pain of me having been the bringer of this all grieves me to an excrutiating degree. If I only hadn't gone on that hike.

It's a very distressing place to be.

The doctor put me back on antibiotics. Biaxin. Which makes me feel like I'm on a stimulant at times, unable to sleep. And that horrible taste is always in the back of my throat. I had nausea for a moment, and then it went away as my body adjusted.

Biaxin is sulphur based, which aids me in working outdoors.

Also, when I mentioned the issues with my cervix, and the LEEP procedure that my gynecologist wishes me to undertake, he said to really think about it.

LEEP procedures can cause infertility. They also can take orgasm away from one, if scar tissue is formed.

He told me that at a CIN 3, I can still reverse it holistically.

I really would like to try but my partner is adamant about me getting the procedure done, as he fears me getting Cancer.

"It is your body," my doctor said. "Surgeons don't care about your body, they care about your money."

He asked me to do the research and to really think about it.

It is my body. I am stuck with the decisions that come with it.

I have done the research, and I think that I should attempt the holistic route primarily. I have yet to make a decision.