My friend J. and I decided to put on our gear to hike down onto the Mid State Trail to camp. The June day was warm and lovely, and we had decided to firstly go strawberry picking in the woods, as it was officially Strawberry Moon and we wanted to celebrate.
The two of us had been foraging all Spring, and were excited to get a small forage in for berries and greens.
To our dismay, there were no berries yet. Either that, or the deer had gotten to them already. We lumbered on empty pocketed to the woods to set up camp.
When we arrived, we made a decent shelter out of light weight tarps and bedding, and then we both took up posts either collecting firewood or setting up lines for fish.
Both of us wore long sleeves, pants and bug spray, as J. had been afflicted with Lyme disease some years prior.
J. went through a series of doctors that told him that he didn't have Lyme and that he was crazy. They told him his symptoms were all in his head. This was after he was treated once with antibiotic. He had been camping and the tell tale red, circular rash had radiated from his buttocks.
He continued to try to seek treatment after he was treated, as he still had symptoms. His back got very stiff, he had fevers and he also had a severe meningitis type effect, He was in a deal of pain and never saw an LLMD, but went through an array of tests, including a botched spinal tap,
At one point, they even drew his blood and told him his test came back negative. A friend of his mother's also drew his blood and tested him for Lyme, and it came back positive.
He still suffers from the effects of Lyme and hasn't been properly treated, and his awful experience was a reminder to me to always be vigilant and check myself on outings.
After the firewood was collected, I tended the fire and started to prepare the meat I had brought down in a skillet, and he went to the woods to bring me back edible greens. Handfuls of Wild garlic mustard, Wild Violet and Stinging Nettles were handed to me, and then I cleaned the plants and prepared a rustic feast of greens, rice and meat.
We ate that night and watched the fire. We shared memories and talked deep into the night. The full moon's light reflected down on us through the trees and we put the one strawberry we had found the entire time out into the fire as a type of offering. We eventually fell asleep to wake up to a morning full of sunshine and camp chores,
I made breakfast, and then the two of us decided to scout the woods.
There was a field of purple and black butterflies both landed and hovering sweetly, and I was lost in the beauty of their appearance. They gave the place a very fairy tale/ethereal touch, and I watched them as if in a trance, as I was caught in their spell.
As we walked on, we saw a row of dead paper birches, and the entire path was covered in Wild Violet.
Onward still, we heard a rushing of water, and followed the sound to two beautiful rapids and a small series of falls. It was an oasis nestled in the center of the green. We both climbed on the mossy rocks and looked at the running water. The small falls emptied themselves into a large lagoon. The sun peaked through the trees, and glowed across the surface of the liquid. It was all very inviting. So inviting that we had opted to jump in to cool off.
As silly as it may be, I stood on the mossy edge of a boulder, peering down into the water, hesitant to jump in. I was 28 years old, and had never jumped into moving water before. There was always some sort of mental block in it for me, and I still couldn't tell you why I had never done so before.
I couldn't to do it.
I thought about my hesitance. Not just on this time, but on others and with other things. What was this feeling that rendered me immobilized and frozen? It was in many aspects of my life, both physical and emotional.
I had to make myself jump in.
My mind raced to thoughts of things like baptism and rebirth, and I made a vow to myself to not leave that place until I had jumped in, This leap would serve as a symbol of a rebirth of self of sorts, and I would complete it.
J. had already jumped into the pool twice, and was most likely becoming irritated with my ceremonious musings.
"Just jump in!," he shouted to me from a rock at the bottom where he had perched and waited for me.
And then, finally, as fast as I could, I let go.
I lept off the rock and I faced the symbol of my anxieties to be hit by the paralyzing cold of the crisp mountain water.
I could hear J.'s voice in the background as I went under, "You're doing it."
I rose from the waters with a great belly laugh and a much lighter feeling. I left my transgressions in the pool behind me.
The two of us got dressed, and talked about coming back down for Summer Solstice and inviting others to this magical land. We started collecting firewood and got back to camp to make one last fire before we would return to town.
I was in the process of changing my old pants at the campsite, when I saw there was a tick on my arm, gorging itself on my blood.
"Get this thing off of me!," I yelled. He pulled it out of my arm. He said it wasn't a deer tick. I now know that concerning Lyme, it doesn't matter.
He checked the rest of my body, and he found an actual deer tick on my leg.
If I wouldn't have jumped into that pool, it would never have washed off my bug spray, I thought.
The lesson underlying, I chuckled to myself, was that while you cannot live life by avoiding life, each time you open a new door, it creates an entryway for both positive and negative experiences to come in.
J. said that neither of them looked very engorged, so they couldn't have been there that long. He pulled the deer tick out of me.
I asked if I should go to a hospital. What should I do. He told me to keep an eye on it for a couple of days, and watch for a rash.
Afterward, we packed up to go and hike the four miles out.
We reached the car, and I felt sick and dizzy. I blamed it on dehydration and the heat, and carried on into my night.
I felt like something wasn't right in my body.
I played in my mind that I had been cursed by something in the mystical wood, and it left me feeling dizzy, nauseated and fatigued.
The symptoms were subtle, and I paid them no mind.
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